Smoke-os.

Paying smokers to take cigarette breaks is the equivalent of paying cutters to sneak out to bathroom stalls and cut themselves. Smokers should have a metal chip implanted in their wrist, that charts the number of times, and the duration of, each cigarette break, to calculate just how unproductive they really are. The number of minutes they use up should be calculated, and accordingly deducted, from their salary. Double rates would apply for 'peak periods'- periods when they should be helping out the non-cancerous ones who don't have the luxury of taking a break whenever the mood strikes them.

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