Untitled I

Posted by JSYL on Tuesday, January 02, 2007 in
I write this because I am here and you are distant.

You are haunted by a fear you cannot rhyme,
and a feeling you are afraid to understand.
It is uncertainty, and with uncertainty comes dread of all past shortcomings lingering still, coming to knock at your door like an unwanted acquaintance.
The kind you pay only shallow respect
And greet in the street with a slight tip of your hat.
But who you fear will one day want to be let in to your home and fed your food till you have nothing left to call your own.
You don’t trust yourself to be yourself
you trust not the half stranger that beckons in the night.
Shadows loom larger than your own, and threaten to overtake you when you sleep.
But to stay on guard all night would be impossible-
But to sleep would be dangerous and churlish indeed.

Be not afraid of the stranger.

You will be hard pressed to find a place my name is not branded,
Its there to help you recognise your way,
like breadcrumbs along your every path.
It was always there, though unremarkable as it may have become,
Nestled in comfortably as a notice among billboards with equally gaudy fixtures.
You are frightened because you have begun to realise how frequently I appear-
For years you thought you had eluded me.
Please do not fear me.

I can harm you no longer.

I am but a weathered scar seared upon your skin.
An indelible stain smudging the corner of your coat-
Invisible to the naked eye, and too passive to affect you.
Do not be dismayed by the lessons we two continue to re-learn, simply because they are not complete.
They go on where we two do not.
They are yours to keep as my gift to you, for as long as you choose to store them in your heart.
They are yours to pull from out your pocket when you are alone
as a woman would her dead lover’s lock of hair.
I am that quiet moment after sorrow and before a new beginning.
I am that unspoken hesitation only you can know.
Do not be disheartened to discover I never really disappeared,
That you have run so far to find yourself only a few steps away.
The journey continues- your efforts have not been in vein.

You are enough as you are.

Live with me as you would a scar, a stain.
Lie with memories of me as you would any other-
Two partners side by side, who's skin is felt but never touched;
gone but always dear.
You do not betray them by being content,
Nor do you lie in the past by remembering my name.

The blood on your hands has long been washed clean,
and I am near, and you are distant.
Do not contemplate missing misery; to do so would be fruitless agony.
For I am the one fear you cannot make rhyme.
I am the one feeling you can never hope to understand.
I am standing at the crossroads of your Sorrow, Despair and Longing.
And we two exist together as it was at the beginning, now and ever shall be-
There is no ‘last’ lingering farewell.

There is only we two.

Accept this, and the sun will shine as sweet as watermelon sugar melting the tip of your tongue on a hot summer’s day.



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