Dear Jane at 5 years old,

Hi Jane.

Happy birthday.

How was your party? McDonald's was an excellent choice.

I know you're disappointed Christopher Hayward didn't make it, but hey, the rest of your class did, and that's something.
It's a lot actually. I don't think you'll be fortunate enough to get 30 presents in one day ever again. Sorry.

You don't know me, but I just thought I'd give you some sort of a heads-up on how things might be for you over the next 20 or so years, so you're not completely clueless this time around.

There are going to be times, just like today, when you're surrounded by everyone you love, which at this point, is pretty much everyone you know - those will be the best times.

There are also going to be plenty of lunchtimes when you won't have as many people to play with. But you'll still have fun. Imaginary friends are sometimes more fun than real people anyway - somehow they always like the same games as you, and they always go away right when you're tired of them.

There will be plenty of boys after Christopher Hayward (though what you were doing with a guy with a dorky name like that I'll never know). Most of them will be just as lousy as he is, and pay little or no attention to you. When that happens, go to mum. She'll always know what to say, even when you don't want to hear it. Especially then.

There are going to be times when you will be so sure of yourself, and you'll think the world is being neatly placed on a path created just for you.

But there are also going to be times when you will stare at yourself in the mirror at 1am, tear-streaked cheeks, dishevelled hair and all, exhausted from hoping and expecting things will work out in your favour, and bearing the disappointment that that almost always brings with it, and you won't even recognise yourself anymore.

You will wonder if you are doing the right thing, and if you have made the right choices, and what you would do if you had it all to do over again, and what it's all for, anyway. And yes, you will probably regret many things.

Those will be the worst times.

But even though getting the things you want most won't always be easy, they will always be worth it. Even if you can only have them for a little while.

Don't be discouraged.

Because there will also be times when you won't have to try so very hard to prove yourself, to please, or to make people care for you. Even though sometimes it will feel like that's the only way to get them, you should never have to try too hard for any of those things.

I'd better go, it's getting late. I'll share more of my wisdom with you when you're a little older. For now, take care.

Sincerely,

Jane at 22 years old.

P.S. In about three years' time, you're going to learn about the human body. Mr Humphreys will tell you to go home and find a name for a new body part you'd never heard of before, to bring back to class the next day. When your brother tells you to say 'colon' but won't tell you what it is, look it up. Trust me.

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